At 16 after GCSEs where I did really well, I decided I wanted to leave school to take A levels at the local college. I was sick of the uniform, the discipline, the routine of school. I wanted to be free.
So I did. Except I barely went. I was having way too much fun instead. When it came to sit the exams I thought I’d be fine. I did great last time.
When I results came in I felt sick. I was so used to things being easy I naively didn’t study. I failed in almost everything.
How does this relate to now?
I realised recently by connecting to my inner child that ever since that moment I have been afraid of reliving that experience. That was when I began to believe that I have to work really hard to succeed.
At times thats meant working until I got sick. More recently its meant working in tiny windows of time when I should really be resting. Having two young children means I can’t work the way I used to. If I don’t take time for self care I burn out.
Yet at times that pressure to work is still there. That 18 year old me never wants to feel that way again. She’s alive and kicking in my 41 year old body!
So what did I do when I realised she was activated recently?
Interested in learning what parts of you are activated in your own life? Join my inner child group experience starting soon. Spaces are filling fast. Find out more here
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